Saturday, December 28, 2013

six years

To my wonderful husband -

This last year has been a giant ball of tragedy, pain, love, hope, tears, joy and uncertainty.  I know we didn't choose this road we are walking right now - but I'm so grateful that we chose each other.  You have been steadfast as we rejoiced over pregnancies, grieved over loss, clung desperately to hope and wondered how to move forward.  Even as you have dealt with your own grief, you have been there for me as waves of pain would creep up, through sleepless nights of tears, and times when I worried I would never feel okay again.

You have sought The Lord on behalf of our family and you have carried me to the Father when there were just no words to speak.  You have remained full of hope, positive and confident throughout all of the uncertainty.  Your resilience and ability to find joy is admirable and speaks volumes about the kindness of your heart.  It means so much to me to know that no matter how I'm feeling - I can tell you the truth and you can handle it.  I am blessed by your tenderness that comforts, by your grace that accepts, and by your strength that supports me and Haydn.

I know some days yours has been a heavy burden to bare, and I'm grateful for the ways you take care of yourself so that you can take care of us.  Your servanthood continually reminds me of Jesus and the ways he recognized and responded to the needs of others.  I could not imagine a greater partner, friend, or advocate.

These last six years have not been easy, but your love has been an anchor to keep me steady and a comfort that has blanketed the deepest of wounds.  I love you so much - much more than I can articulate by speech or pen.  There are many things I once felt sure of  that now are unclear - but,my love for you has changed only in its depth and understanding.

Happy Anniversary my love - you continue to stir in my soul the desire to truly live, a longing for the heights and a willingness to embrace the beautiful, whether it is through joy or tears.

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